Sunday, April 26, 2009

Still Kickin'

2009 Swag Off!!!

The Quarter Finals: The following teams are still duking it out in round one, leaving semi final bound fans guessing, speculating, calculating, imagining, and salivating over which team their boys will do battle with next.

What better way to celebrate the "Days of Do or Die" with a little Stanley Cup Playoffs Swag Off? Readers who were around last year might remember such famous swag offs like the Save the Predators T-Shirt versus the SteveYzerman Commenorative Sports Illustrated magazine. Or the Colorado Avalanche Mini Stein shot glass vs the Minnesota Wild game program. Which swag items will make it to the Finals this season???

In the West...

Chicago Blackhawks vs. Calgary Flames
Blackhawks lead the series 3-2

Try something new on your next evening out: bring along a functional accessory sporting one of the NHL's hottest logos. Surprise your friends at dinner, or in the lounge. (that's my cousin's lobster in the background. I had a big steak.) I've had this beer cozy stored away in the Hockey Swag box for four years, and finally it comes out to play, just like the Chicago Blackhawks have after a seven year absence from the post season. They are heading back to Calgary one more time to face the Sea of Red, and if the Flames have their way, a refreshed Mikka Kipprosoff and an angry Jerome Iginla. And they won't like it when Jerome's angry.

This stylin' Calgary Flames jersey hand bag screams "I'm a winner!" However, the Flames were definitely looking like losers in game five. The Blackhawks displayed the "win at all costs atittude", making it difficult for the Flames to get shots through to the net. On the downside, Phaneuff left the game. On the upside Jerome said "We will be ready for the next game." The jersey bag hopes'll look smashing in the semi's...


San Jose Sharks vs. Anaheim Ducks

Ducks lead the series 3-2

Since we hear so much about Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau, I thought it would be nice to showcase the league's other Evgeni. Evgeni Nabokov would like to play in the semi's too, and he hopes Joe and Patrick want to so bad, they continue to shake the damn choking, floating, long faced looks on the bench style of whatever it is that seems to plague them around this time of year. No time like the present...

The Anaheim Ducks are the team no one wants to play. Period. Who's fault is that anyways? Ah, let's blame Brian Burke...or George Parros' mustache. Or Chris Pronger's elbows. Or the Neidermayers' mom. Or the combination of orange towels and Snoop Dog. Or the fact they are really close to Disneyland, and boy could I use a visit to the happiest place on earth. But this isn't about me, it's about the Ducks, those super confident Ducks, trying to play mind games with the Sharks but the Sharks have been too busy playing mind games with themselves. Lucky Ducks...


In the East...

Washington Capitals vs. New York Rangers
New York leads the series 3-2

I am sure there are hockey fans out there that think the Rangers Sean Avery and coach John Tortorella both deserve a good spanking. Well look no further than the above classic wooden Rangers mini stick as the spanking accessory of choice! Just under 2 ft. tall, the mini stick is sure to draw a chuckle from even the surliest Washington Capitals fan sitting behind the bench! Coach Torts has been suspended for one game due to bad behavior, but Ranger fans must be hoping the scratched Sean Avery returns to play in game six: one of these water bottle shooters needs to be present at MSG for game six to make up with everybody and continue the co-dependent thing into the second round.

The sick goal. The sick sick goal. Alexander Ovechkin’s game four highlight reel goal was almost overshadowed by Rangers Coach John Tortorella’s bench boss antics on Friday night. Like their team, The Washington Capital’s Sea of Scarlet (a tribute to Club Scarlet, girls!) is on the brink of elimination, and will have to helplessly watch from home as the Caps try to tie up this series and force a game seven. At least some of the fans will look lovely in Versace dresses.


New Jersey Devils vs. Carolina Hurricanes

Devils lead the series 3-2

The most talked about game in this series was game four; with the Hurricanes winning the game thanks to a buzzer beater shot delivered by Jussi Jokinen (can it get more buzzer beater than 0.2 seconds left on the clock?). Cue the stick throwing .Yes, the Devils prefer to make a bigger statement with tossing a stick, rather than water bottles (that’s what the Manhattan hockey players do). All I remember is walking by the TV, highlight package on, and Devils net minder, Martin Brodeur heaving his stick at the boards. Perhaps, long after the game was over, Brodeur had his feet up and enjoyed a different kind of shot from this attractive Devils Shot glass. Coming in at just under five bucks, this little glass can perk up even the most frustrating of days. Use the Devils shot glass responsibly!!

Yes, I will admit...this is an old bag of chips. But, it was the last bag I found after the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup in 2006, and it was a keeper. Look at Rod Brind’amour - That’s a happy guy. And these Caniac chips are a tasty side kick for the Devils shot glass- talk about a perfect match. And the series has proven to be a good match, too: four out of five games were one goal games. Devils win, Canes win, Devils win, Canes win, Devils win,....the big question today is do the Chips win another day on the shelf??? The Hurricanes have been an elusive team for me, so if it seems like I am focusing on the chips too much, it’s because game six will be the first game of this series I will actually see. And I have a hankering for some chips...Go Canes! It’s your turn to win. The sequence says so ;o)

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